mentally tired

I was in the office last saturday from 11am till 430pm..(eventhough not required to work on weekends) hmm rajin kononnya...only lilix know what im doing @ that particular hours

seriously, im very tired mentally for this recent weeks...people say this & that...due date @ this date...rush here rush there...

yesterday, i'm SO UPSET with myself...i'm not intentionly "sabotaj" any people's time / work...i was all ready that morning, have type the lyrics, was ready & waiting for everyone's ready...should have go out by myself (i'm blaming myself should have not wasting time waiting)...when i reached, it's 5 minutes left...quickly pick up the equipment (hearing a complaining voice says : "Lambatlah ini") start set up the equipment...the laptop being very slow...suddenly it shutdown by itself...now i have to wait again for the window to start up (darn!), now, setting the screen (darn! too small, adjust...NO! no time, put in the lyrics of other songs, darn!! where's the 1st song, it's not the 1st song...) i was trembling (Only God knows how my hand shakes & my heart beat terribly fast - almost in shock mode) seems like most of the eyes around me look like (slow yer~~~) (before that, some ppl told me " you can type while the song is playing rite? - you think i'm superlady ka?) how i wished at that moment, i could tell them the equipment doesn't work according to my mind simultaneously, it needs time to proceess!! ...then i have to type the 1st song (as i could not find it in the new software)...copy paste the 2nd & 3rd lyrics (darn! the font too small, how to adjust it? ... arrghhh can't remember anymore...) ahhh no time, they will be more angry with me later...just proceed what i have at that moment. Totally, im in no mood already...ppl's comment at that point of time doesn't really helpful at all...i was trembling / stress that short period of time. I'm blaming myself of not performing well...plus for the rest of the month, i will take up the task replacing my friend who's wife just gave birth last week. I'm ok with it...let it be my time to get used with the new software...up till now, i only use the soft not more than 5 times. So it takes time for me to "telan" all the skills.

Nahh...i don't want to think about it...eventhough, yesterday i was so mad at myself...feels want to scream out loud!!! Just have no mood to make jokes / talk to anybody yesterday. ..Mentally tired indeed.